Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize