Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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