I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
