She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize