Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
