I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
