No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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