There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
