I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
