Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
