Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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