): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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