Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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