this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
