I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think my fart just growled at me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
