so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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