So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you inspire me to be a worse person
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
