are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
time to smoke my breakfast
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
