we have officially lost it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
