i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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