He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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