I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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