Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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