alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
