I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
