I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
