This girl is more easily done than said...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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