Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
