does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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