I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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