Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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