I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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