Your dad touched me again.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
