you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
