I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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