I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
