So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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