I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
where are you?
Hypothermia
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
