Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
