and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
