I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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