I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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