Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
