So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
