come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
