is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
