Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
