Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
