If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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