Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
