what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize