a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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