The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
