hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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