Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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