she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
