people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
