im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
two words: eviction party
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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