My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
